outlook

in the face of trying times and more stress than i care to contemplate, i have decided, pretty much in the last two hours or so, that i am going to try something new. i am going to face the rest of 2010 with a relentlessly, aggressively positive attitude. i mean it this time. i will find the positive side of things if it freaking kills me. it's a survival mechanism at this point. so here goes; i'm going to test this out here. tell me if it's working.

event: unwinding my old life is making. me. crazy.
positive spin: i get to practice domestic relations law in a risk-free environment.

event: school is insanely busy this week.
positive spin: it's a good distraction from my old life.

event: i don't have regular access to a car, and it's cold outside.
positive spin: walking everywhere = exercise = being able to eat big macs every so often.

hmm. i'm not so sure i'm getting this right. well, whatever; i'll have plenty of time to practice in the face of all the stresses and annoyances swirling around me right now...

back and forth

i woke up this afternoon sore on my entire right side. muscle aches, bruises, a couple of strains, and one really sharp pain in my hip. one good back rub later, i was actually able to get out of bed, but let's just say that last night/this morning's activities really took it out of me.

it's fun beyond description to get totally drenched in your lover's sweat as he battles you for supremacy. i play with submission a lot these days, but every once in awhile i get a wild hair to turn the tables. i mean, a girl can't be pliant and subservient all the time. what fun is that? thankfully, my favorite playmate is just as flexible as i am. he's more than willing to let me work it out on him as easily as he works it out on me. or is he?

sometime shortly before sunup, out of breath and tousled of hair, holding his wrists and enforcing my will, i got the distinct feeling that my efforts weren't so much subsuming him as they were amusing him. and that's when it hit me. he and i are best not when one or the other of us is in charge, but when we take each other on face to face. so as he baited me, i challenged him. our words got more daring, the adrenaline flowed. we locked hands, wrestling each other figuratively and literally. he snarled at me; i laughed at him. the taunts, throwing each other around the bed, the oh-so-sweet challenge of love not given lightly. we pushed each other to the brink physically and emotionally, and even beyond the brink.

oh, and were we ever rewarded. the sun rose over us entwined, his lips against my neck, my head resting in the crook of his arms, completely exhausted and thoroughly sated in each other's pleasure. power games are fine. egalitarianism, though? even sweeter.