and then, on the other side of the coin, i find myself repeating behaviors in other contexts. once more, into the breach; i find myself problem-solving for people i shouldn't be. i am the one who can fix it, right? yeah, no. i need to stop, i need to let it go. the only saving grace i've found in THAT little vicious circle is that i am a little more impervious to emotional displays than i used to be. when everything falls apart, instead of rushing in with duct tape and soothing words, i am now the cold voice of reason. i think that answers a lot of questions, to be honest. it answers questions i didn't even know had been asked.
it also gives me hope - a little, anyway - that all these cycles will eventually have an end.