there's been far too much heaviness around my life these days - final divorces, bad anniversaries, surgeries, stresses and struggles. i, for one, am damn tired of it. so tonight, i choose to go a different route. as always, when i go here, i've employed my old friend, the HTML jump. if you don't want to read about matters salacious and vulgar (and tonight, i DO mean vulgar - details are dished), i'll understand. but if you do? let's go.
there's nothing on this earth a good orgasm from the right person can't cure. i've only sampled briefly from the menu of men on this earth, having spent the entirety of my young adulthood in a largely monogamous relationship and then jumping immediately into a monogamous relationship with the guy i violated my initial monogamy with. but i have had, either with the ex or with the man, more sex than i could count.
when the man and i started hooking up, sneaking around in hotel rooms all over the southeast and bedrooms throughout the nation's capital, it became increasingly apparent that he knew what he was doing. he went after my orgasm like it was the holy grail, and he would not rest until he got there. (this is, by the way, the best quality a man can have, in my opinion.) and that kind of dedication to me inspired me to give him my absolute best. so i became the queen of fellatio, memorizing every inch of him as if my life depended on it. every time he came, it was encouragement to make the next one even better.
no matter what was bothering me in my life, hitting the sack with him could always soothe my jangled nerves for awhile, or at least knock me out enough to get a good night's sleep. but even on days when heaviness is not an issue, we tear it up any chance we get. it is so amazing to have someone to sleep with who is not only 100% in tune with your wants, your needs, but is also 100% dedicated to making sure you get off as much as possible.
hell, he gets off on watching me get off. we also... deviate, i'll say, in similar ways. i suppose it shouldn't surprise anyone that two strong-willed people are, deep in their hearts and souls, equal parts sadists and masochists. it works out well: one night, he'll wield the power, the next night it'll be me. the best part about our sex life is the fact that each of us makes it the sole purpose of our lives at that moment to make damn good and sure that the other person comes harder than ever, every single time.
sometimes when you start a relationship under clandestine circumstances, the thrill wanes when it's not edgy anymore. now that the man and i are 100% legit, though, it's gotten strangely better. sometimes we don't just fuck; we make love. sometimes he kisses me until i can't stand it anymore, then he has his way with me. sometimes he leaves the lights on, staring me dead in the eyes while he works his magic. there's a new layer to sex with him in a legitimate context. we're not just friends with benefits anymore. this is building a life with someone.
this man is the reason why my lingerie drawer is as diverse and frilly as it is. i have a man in my life who tells me, you have total permission to tear my clothes off any time you want. and trust me, i take advantage of it. i have even been known to give him a free one at times. just lay back and enjoy, baby, no strings attached. regardless of who's leading and who's following, whether it's tender and sweet or vicious and hard, the end result is the same. and at the end of the night, tangled up in one another, worn out, sometimes beaten up a bit, we know exactly what we are to each other. there's nothing more fun than that.
Letter 70: Be Louder
4 weeks ago