the inimitable red shoes has tagged me to answer some questions, and who am i to turn down such a request? so here goes...
1) if you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?
the ex has the dog we lived with in louisiana. i always liked that dog fine, i suppose, but it was clear that he was the ex's dog, no question. the ex was all about the bond, and a lot of times i'm sure he liked the dog hundreds of times more than he liked me. i saw him as an animal, a nice little companion who annoyed the hell out of me, ate my things to spite me, and often kicked me in the kidneys when we all slept in our bed. sigh.
2) if you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
i've had a few come true recently. i'm not gonna be greedy here. my dreams these days are to get a good job after graduation and keep this relationship i'm in growing.
3) what is the one thing most hated by you?
easy. willful ignorance. i hate it beyond all reason when you show someone a series of facts, they look at them, and then, as if to spite the truth, conclude the exact opposite of what those facts show. there's NOTHING more enervating than that.
4) what would you do with a billion dollars?
oh, easy. i'd pay off everything i owe - education, personal debts, the car i still own with the ex, etc. i'd buy a nice house in the area, near where i am now, straight cash, as well as a car of my own. i'd make my parents comfortable. i'd do some serious charity work. with what was left, i'd start a serious conversation about financial and emotional readiness for the future.
5) what helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
time with my friends. a good glass of red wine. dark chocolate, preferably in the form of a mounds bar. warm weather. a nice coffee. a good lay. any of these things work.
6) which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
sorry. if you have one of these, either way, without the other, that is not even CLOSE to a blessing. it's called unrequited love, and it eats the lover up inside. i've been on both sides, and no. just no. love only works if both parties love.
7) what is your bedtime routine?
depends. if i'm alone? glass of wine, piece of chocolate, and either blogging or sportscenter until i fall asleep. if i'm not? we crawl into bed, talk, sometimes watch TV. some nights... well, you can imagine. but always, every night we're together, we fall asleep wrapped in each other's arms. it's nice.
8) if you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?
come back with me to the mid-1990s, that glorious time when britney spears was nothing more than a has-been mouseketeer. hell, i didn't even have a computer yet. we were in tenth grade, in our state's capitol at a mock legislature convention. a girl from my school had been hanging out with this boy, and she brought him to eat dinner with us that night. as we sat on the lawn of the state house, chatting about all the important things fourteen-year-olds discuss, he casually mentioned that he liked my favorite R.E.M. album, new adventures in hi-fi. do you remember how hard it was back then to be a music snob? i said to him, "i can tell that we're going to be friends." and from that point on, we were inseparable. you know the rest of the story...
9) if you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?
i would kill to be able to watch warren zevon write a song. either him or tom waits.
10) what kinds of books do you read?
in school season, i read the law. mainly the internal revenue code. but for the last few weeks, i've devoured everything non-law-related i can get my grubby little hands on. i love memoirs, essay collections and good novels. i like books about sports. i like poetry, but only certain poets. i just read just kids, the patti smith memoir. BEAUTIFUL.
(hey, are y'all on goodreads? let's be friends.)
11) how would you see yourself in ten years' time?
working as a lawyer, comfortable with the man, and as someone's mama. (believe me, there's a truckload of angst coming in the next couple weeks on the whole "someone's mama" subject. stay tuned. it'll get fun. heh.)
12) what's your fear?
god, just one? it changes daily, it seems. how can you force me to choose? these days, i'm legitimately scared of the job market. the irrational fears, though, are always the same - i'll botch this relationship, i'm not as smart as i think i am, etc., etc., etc. (see also this entire blog.)
13) would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?
no. sorry - exploring's cool, but i love chocolate.
14) would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
i've done married and poor. i could do that again with the right man.
15) what's the first thing you do when you wake up?
generally? curse. i hate mornings. if i'm with him, though, i usually kiss him on the shoulder.
16) if you could change one thing about your spouse/partner, what would it be?
OH no. no, no, no, no, no. this is my least favorite thing ever - you CANNOT change them. he doesn't come in customizable form; if you take him, you take him as he is. the man and i both do things that annoy the ever-loving hell out of one another. it's been this way forever. now that we're a couple, we butt heads over them and hash them out, but it's not about "change." it's about "this is what i mean when i say X," followed generally by, "oh, well that makes sense." i am not changing anything about him - who he is now is why i love him so much.
17) if you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
kinda did, didn't i? y'all know me as magnolia (except for those of you who know me as both magnolia and my real name). i love that nickname. i'm happy this way.
18) have you ever been betrayed by a family member? what did you do to get through it and go on with life? what made it better? would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
uh, i'm divorced. i'd say that covers it. as far as "forgive and forget" is concerned, though? you always forgive. you NEVER, EVER forget. you carry the wrongs against you through this life as exemplars, so that you never let them happen again. call me vengeful or spiteful for doing it; i don't care. you have to gird yourself for your future, and your armor is made up of the wrongs in your past.
19) if you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?
salad. i love salad.
whew. now to share the love: i have to tag 4 people to play. here they are -
d) the mad woman
hope y'all have fun!
Letter 70: Be Louder
5 weeks ago