impatience

i don't wait well. it's a weakness of mine; if something important is coming up, i am on freaking tenterhooks until it happens. case in point: i am currently waiting for my student loan disbursement. five business days is INTERMINABLE when you have a ton of things to buy. i'm antsy as hell waiting for the direct deposit to show up.

but this impatience pales in comparison with the waiting game i have to play now. i wonder if this is how people in jail feel as their sentences wind down. i am so. damn. close. to having absolutely everything i have ever wanted in this life. there's just the matter of having to snip those last few threads of entanglement before i can get totally free. i have no choice in the matter, either; there's just no way to advance the timetable.

all i can do is think about how little time is really left. i've waited this long. i can wait a little longer.