i love this cheesy, god-awful pop song. i just love it (though i'd love the studio version on youtube a lot more than this one, bryan. jeez). it's a fabulous shower-singing song, when you're sure you're 100% alone and no one can hear you belting out lyrics like you're on stage at carnegie hall. it's been on my mind pretty much nonstop today, too, which would seem kinda random... except that last night, the man and i had THE TALK HEARD 'ROUND THE WORLD. ok, i'm being a trifle overdramatic. but y'all made me think, you fabulous readers you. why should i just stew in my own juices (or vent to y'all)? he's a grown-up. moreover, he loves me. he wants me happy and satisfied. he also doesn't want me to worry. so let's talk about some stuff.
so after dinner last night, we went back to my house and sat down. i started with the uncertain and wide-casting job search in which i find myself in the middle. from there... well, the road was long, and the topics were many. we actually (gasp!) got serious for once. and of course, my honesty and openness was well rewarded. why wouldn't it? i got a lot of concerns answered, a lot of questions settled, and many reassurances, given to me in his own inimitable way.
one of the things that's been weighing on my soul is the distinct possibility that the job i take will make me have to move. i've been trying for weeks now to figure out his position on this subject. it's an opinion that, while not make-or-break, is pretty freaking important. i've done a long-distance relationship before. i do not enjoy them. i think they're stressful. so what would we do then? ('course, because this is me, i ended up traipsing headlong into related subjects that won't be discussed in public, which further complicated the matter.) this has always been a huge concern for me.
when the time comes, he said, we'll make the decision as to what we're going to do. but until then, apply where you want, do what you want. i'm not going to tell you that you can't do something. wow, love, i thought. was that so hard? so i said to him, what if the only thing i get is far away? what then? he kissed me and said, do you really think i'd let you take off somewhere and leave me here?
answers. straight from the heart. your humble blog proprietor is one happy woman today. and all i had to do was ask. y'all are smart. thanks. :)
Letter 70: Be Louder
4 weeks ago