firework

pop music and i are usually not friends. i favor alt-rock, alt-country, songwriters with pithy and/or ironic worldviews. (oh yeah - and rap that was released in the late 1980s through the early 2000s. i'm a sucker for a good beat.) but i've been gobsmacked by this hooky little minx of a song. i swear, it's been on an endless loop in my head for over a week now. and for the longest time, i could NOT figure out why. there's nothing special about the beat, the words or even the sentiment.

but then i got to thinking about the lyrics again...

you just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
just own the night like the fourth of july
'cause, baby, you're a firework
come on, show 'em what you're worth...
come on, let your colors burst...
you're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe...
boom, boom, boom, even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
it's always been inside of you
and now it's time to let it through

kinda sounds like an anthem for someone who's been pent up, repressed (by herself or by others) and wants nothing more to live up to everything she's always wanted to be, eh? yeah, and another word for all of those concepts is divorcee.

i've met a lot of women, both blog-friends and life-friends, who are divorcing, considering divorce, or have finished the process. though the experience is harrowing (even for those of us with no kids and no stuff to fight over), and it causes pain and unexpected levels of sorrow, the end result of the whole thing is... lightness. you feel like yourself again, but better, improved, forged in fire and tougher than steel. you survived, you made the right choice, and the world is your oyster.

i got the following statement told to me a lot when i was back in my louisiana homeland: you look so much lighter these days. and you know? i am. i feel free, unburdened. the troubles that weighed me down and made me dour, dark, and angry are gone. in their place is this sense that, hell, i got through it, and i lived. i can do anything i want now. i feel like the joy of getting back to the life i wanted to live shines through every pore, making me glow in the light of my own strength. and i think that's why this stupid little pop song is so stupidly life-affirming to me. i am here to show y'all what i'm worth, let my colors burst and shoot across the sky. i own the night. i let it shine.

boom, boom, boom, y'all.