blood oath

i had a rough, rough night last night. it came out of nowhere. quite literally, as i lay there in the man's arms, something felt funny. as soon as i could, i got up and... oh, i'll spare you the details. suffice it to say that there was suddenly, with no reason, quite a bit of blood. not ambulance-level, but a lot. i came back to bed, and i told him what had happened.

there are a number of reasons why this could have happened, but there's one in particular that it could be that led us to face a very sobering reality. so we talked. we hashed out the what-ifs, our plans, our fears and our dreams. and the conversation took turns i didn't see, i didn't like and i didn't want. the same is definitely true for him. but we looked at each other and we faced all the struggles, all the fears, head-on. in the end, with his arms wrapped around me tight, i felt every last word he's said to me renew themselves over and over again.

sometimes the things you have to fight for aren't just little. sometimes the struggles are large, frightening, complex. but when you face them down, pledged to each other, and you work it out together, that's when you know what you've got. and i have more than i could ever have imagined.