so i think it's time to take this little enterprise next level. what little enterprise? everything in my life. i have got to start striving a little harder, all the way around. i was always so freaking happy as a kid when i had goals, something to work towards. i mean, i was a wicked procrastinator, and a touch of an underachiever in a couple of areas (calculus, i'm looking at you). but work has always given me my grounding, made me happy, and helped me define who i am. well, except for that little patch of wandering in the wilderness there in the middle. between undergrad and law school, i just... coasted, i guess, is the best word for it. and that was MISERABLE. god, the more i look back on it, the more i realize that every day i just did whatever was bare-minimum necessary, with no aim other than a) earn paycheck and b) spend paycheck, i was killing the parts of me that made me who i am. not acceptable AT ALL.
so here i sit, having just logged about a 12-hour day reviewing for the bar exam (gaah, less than two months), and you'd think that would be misery. nope; i am pretty freaking satisfied, all things considered. i am on my way to building my life as it should've been built all along. i am through wasting time. i am trying, i am working, and i am achieving. work may sound like a weird way to define yourself; i know we're all supposed to be about our emotional connections, etc., etc., etc. "i don't let my job define me!" well, yeah, you don't let your employer define you. but you damn well better have something to define yourself with, and in my case, it's my legal life. i am going to be the best damn tax lawyer i can possibly be. i will define myself by my profession, my achievements and my resume. i'm done drifting. it's time to get back to what made me: being just remarkably good at what i do. arrogant? maybe. but i can back it up. let's do the damn thing, starting today.
Hello world!
1 month ago
From what I've heard from my law-type friends, if you ain't focused now then your life as a first-year associate is sure to do that for you. From what you've written it doesn't sound like you'll have any problem with bars, oh, you mean *the bar*, well, that's different. Best of luck.
ReplyDeletehahaha - i did live in louisiana. bars and i are like THIS. :) thanks!
ReplyDeleteI don't think you're being arrogant at all. On the contrary, I think you're just excited about what you've accomplished and what you will do in the future. And you're smart and you'll do fine on the bar :)
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate about the goals thing. I've always had something I was working toward, but after college I drifetd a little as well and I was depressed as hell. But now that I have a great job and am making progress on renovating my house and restoring my Mustang I feel like I have a direction. It's a great feeling.